Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Motion of Non-Motion
I think I finally understand what the Hindu's meant by the motion of none motion. This past Saturday, I was able to silence my mind with the help of a few things to a level I had never before. Along with deep breathing, the stillness of a posture and a few other things, I began to feel my awareness of time not only slow down but transform entirely. At first a strobing numbness began to rise up my legs and also on the tip of my nose. I held on to a hand posture (Muhdra) that I'be been utilizing as a single thought force, and I realized the motion of non-motion. A numbness spread over my body entirely and then after sticking with the numbness a little longer I began to breath in and out deeper & I began to feel as if I started to accelarate & floated past the numbness as if it were a veil, unto a new space. Seconds after the wave like sense of moving through an unseen world, my "consciousness form" began to contort into different shapes. At one point I felt as if I were exploring and feeling different non-local spaces. My body no longer felt like a body. Instead, out of the stillness, I felt as if I were a wave of motion, hovering over unseen worlds. My mind can see them only through the understanding of the feeling which was more real than riding a train or a bike in the real world. At this point I layed down and my hands in the muhdra posture melded together & felt as if they had molded into these bubble arm-sized domes that had inter crossed themselves into opposite triangular polarities causing a new gravity to push my posture into endurance with ease. It was as if, finally, after all the chaos, my inner separate forces were finally full force in harmony on my side, pushing all the gravities around me into a pressure that contained my asana posture. This felt to me as if it were an exploration of different forms/sensual shapeshifting & it eventually the experience transformed further onto a set of orgasmic raptures that came as a touch-sense/visual vivid thought based on feelings (rather than projected hallucination). However, a little after this I did began to also have a more vivid experience to go with the whole motion of my stillness. My inner motion was trancended further which I think worked because I had sticked with the stillness of my physical body. I then saw, eyes closed the whole time, a sort of "cosmic ceiling" stretch over me like a dark indigo blue, stretching latex sky with glittering stars. Then, I felt the presence of many beings cheering all over "The Universe of the Unseen". I can feel and kind of hear them, cheering as I levitate up towards the ceiling, with a horizontal body pose from laying down. I slowly but quickly rise to the cosmic ceiling until it drapes over me, entirely, like a new skin. At that point I felt "FUCKING AWESOME!" Not only did it feel orgasmic in a stretching abstractly sense but I had also the sense of being Deified & also the only god to have ever done that, in that way. I felt the awesome power, and duty to be a sort of Eden Creator and Protector for the universe. I felt the awesome awakening, and responsibilty and even thought to myself,.. "I cant trust any other god or really on any dependence except my own on th erebuilding of a new paradise and the protection of it so. This was The self-centered situation of my experience, however it came quite impersonally in the sense that it had nothing to do at the time with my average self. Eventually the posture's sense on the body got so numb and shapeshifted, that I felt as if my intercrossed arms and legs had molded themselves into a twistable pressure that was so different to describe, that if I were to start to describe it I'd sit here talking to myself for hours or possibly days, trying to figure it out exactly. Nonetheless, from what I remember now, & from what I have typed I consider my descriptions to be flawed by language by close enough to describe at least some of the more charished of those experiential moments. And the experience, though it was long enough to fulfill my soul for now, definitley ended with my physical bodily reminder that I had been numb for too long lying on a cold ground. I then got up, and took it for what it was, though, extremely in awe. I left with a higher sense of confidence, as if some other past hidden fragmentation of my self had been re-united into a higher internal strength, even on a social level. I really think that I explored the motion of none-motion that night. There is the possibility of many ideas that can arise from that experience & I have been thinking of some. And though psychedelics inspire one to reach such grounds, this experience was definitley a hell of a lot more useful that the overloads of info-packed intelligence that are associated with hyper psychedelics like N,N DMT, Stropharia Cubensis, Acid, etc.. It also goes to show (at least to me) that through the simple practice of meditation and breathing for silencing the mind with one-single thought, one can lead oneself to some serious healing and empowering/out-of-the-box experiences. The motion of none-motion was real to me. At least perceptually. I definitley want to explore these techniques further in the future. If anyone is interested in discussing the specific techniques, message me. I'll gladly chat.